I am not a Buddhist. I've never told anyone that I am a Buddhist and have in fact denied the title on more than one occasion. Even though I have been circling around the stupa for the last ten years, I have never made any formal or official commitment to the Buddha sāsana. I've never sown a rakusu or received a "dharma name." I am, as of this moment, a freelance wanderer through the six realms of samsara.
Two years later and most of these things are no longer true. I have sewn a rakusu for my lay ordination (Bodhisattva vow) ceremony and I have been given a dharma name. I am now a proud member of a Soto Zen community (although I have problems with Soto's excessive emphasis on "just sitting"). According to my neatly folded lineage chart, I hold the 81st place on a list that goes through Rev. Shoken Winecoff, Dainin Katagiri Roshi, Dogen Zenji, Bodhidharma, Nagarjuna, Ananda, Shariputra and finally old Shakya himself. (I will leave the problemitization of Zen lineage claims to Schlutter, McRae and Heine et all).
Last night, for the first time in years I have been directly asked what my religion was and I said Buddhist. I realized that this is much simpler than saying, "well I was raised a Christian and I still appreciate many of the teachings of Christ, but I have problems with a strictly incarnational Christology." Or "Well, I practice meditation, but it's a combination of Zen shikantaza, shamatha, vipassana and metta practices."
Ironically, right after I charily outed myself as a simple straightforward Buddhist, a professor was asked the same question and she also freely declared herself a Buddhist. (And she even did it by pronouncing it in the "proper" way so it sounds like Buddh-ist, while I say something that sounds more like Bood-ist).
So, I guess I have moved from free-agency to the minor leagues. Maybe one day I will move up to the majors and actually ordain. (Although with a bald head and my huge gangly hands I look shockingly like Gollum).
No comments:
Post a Comment